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Friday, February 24, 2012

My Thoughts on Marriage

I think I heard of three or four engagements in the last week, one of a boy that I used to date (and honestly expected to date again in the future when the timing was right), and several engagements that are imminent. Spring fever come early much? I've gone through a wide variety of emotions and learned some things about how I look at marriage.

First, I learned that I want to get married some day. Hearing of all these engagements plus reading Georgette Heyer romance novels has instilled in me the desire to fall deeply in love with a handsome man and tie myself to him forever. I am, undoubtably, a hopeful (notice I didn't say hopeless) romantic. And I want children - lots of 'em.

Secondly, I learned that I am not ready to be married. Obviously I'm not dating anyone (which makes marriage harder), but even if I was I don't feel like I'm ready to settle down. I have places to go, things to see. When I found out the guy I used to date is now engaged, I couldn't help but think back to about 8 months ago when he wanted to date me. If I had dated him, and things had gone well, I imagine that it would be me with the ring on my finger now. Thinking about that freaked me out a bit. I know that if the right guy came along I would probably feel more ready to be married than I do now, but the right guy has not come along, and if he has I'm obviously not ready to recognize him because I have no idea who he is

Thirdly, I learned that I am not going to marry super young. This point necessitates a definition of the word "young." Young, to me, is anything under the age of 30 (If you're over that age, don't worry - you're not old. You're what I would call "in your prime." Old comes MUCH later). Super young is anything under the age of 24. I believe you aren't fully your own person (and therefore should not get married) until you've A: lived on your own for an extended period of time, B: been alive for at least 23 years, and C: gone to a movie by yourself. I have yet to do B and C, so marriage is definitely out of the question. I turn 23 in June, so at that point I may start looking at boys. But probably not, because -

Fourthly, marriage is not something you look for or force. I am of the belief that, as a character in Dan in Real Life says: "If you're open to it, love will find you." As long as I am doing the things I love, I will find someone. Sure, it's easier to find someone in certain places. I've been told Australia is a good place to go. The guys I am most interested in are the ones going places, doing things, so if I want to find those guys I have to do the same.

Fifthly, and finally, I have learned that I am very emotionally independent. If a guy ever falls in love with me and wants me to marry him I feel sorry for him because he is going to have to sweep me clean off my feet and carry me to the altar. It's not that I don't want to get married (that was my first point, remember). It's that I don't need to get married. I will be perfectly fine if I never get married. I can support myself, I can find useful ways to spend my time. I would rather be married and have kids, but I will also do some neat things if I remain single. So, good luck Future Husband! You have your work cut out for you! But I promise you, I'm totally worth it.

There you are. These are my thoughts on marriage. I know a lot of exceptions to these rules. Some people are excessively mature and ready for marriage at 18, some don't need to leave home before they get married, and some actively seek love and relationships and find it. But those people aren't me. Perhaps I need to change the way I do things. Feel free to tell me where I need to change and I will consider it. I can be pretty stupid sometimes. But I probably won't change, because I generally like me.

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