One of the best/worst feelings in the world...

...is when you slave away on a project, working 12 hours a day and sacrificing all free time and fun things thinking it is due on Friday. And then you find out it is actually due Thursday...of next week. I'm not sure if I want to laugh out of relief or cry from frustration. I think I'll laugh.

A Common Misconception

There is a rather common misconception that I have recently taken note of as I've tried to explain to people what I'll be studying for my Masters. I tell them I'll be doing film studies, and they usually reply with "Oh, wow! Well, remember us when you're famous!" or "Cool! So we will look for your name in the credits of the next big movie" and other variations upon that theme. The thing is, I won't actually be making movies in my degree. I'll be studying them, rather like someone getting an art history degree would study art, not actually make art. That's not to say that I'm giving up on making movies. I've been told by some people that I have talent at making movies (directing mostly). Oddly enough, none of these encouraging people were my professors at BYU. In fact, most of them steered me away from production and towards film studies. When people find out ill just be watching films, not making them, I can tell they're thinking "ugh, how booooring! You want to spend the rest of your life writing papers?" That's when I think, "They're right! You started down this path to MAKE movies! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" That's when I have to remind myself of a few things. I do love film studies, don't get me wrong - sometimes I think there's nothing I'd rather be than the worlds foremost expert on film musicals. But I have to remember that didn't love being on set, at least in the capacities I found myself. I was never in any artistic positions - mostly managerial. Of course, student productions work differently than "real" productions, and I do love directing and writing. I just had friends who craved being on set, craved getting back out there to make more movies, while I never have had that drive. I like making something here and there, but not full time and not enough to sacrifice normal life.

The real point to make - to myself and those around me - is that making movies doesn't have to stop because I'm studying movies. I can still write and such in my spare time. The trick is actually doing it.

Anyway, just thought I'd clear that up. I will probably never be famous, but I will always be in love with movies.

Flavors of the Month

I have recently found myself in three simultaneous celebrity crush phases: April was dominated by Peter O'Toole, beginning with How to Steal a Million - great movie, and now it's on Netflix! Towards the end of April, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol was released on DVD and I felt a resurgence of my Jeremy Renner crush, amplified by the fact that The Avengers (in which he stars as Hawkeye) comes out tonight/tomorrow. Yes, please.

However, these two crushes have been rather eclipsed by Martin Freeman. Yes, I already loved the show Sherlock, and I thought he was marvelous in it. But I just watched, via interesting Internet sites, the second season of Sherlock. And I am now in love. I love his performance in that show - I love both him and Cumberbatch. They are the best Sherlock and Watson, definitely better than Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law (though I love them too). Martin Freeman is also Bilbo in The Hobbit being released later this year. He is also Arthur Dent in Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy (2005). And guess what? I had a crush on him in 2005 when I first saw that movie. I think he's marvelously talented, comedically and dramatically, and I remember thinking, "I wish he was in more movies that I could watch!" Well, it looks like dreams can come true. It takes quite a guy to play three of the most iconic British roles out there. I am a fan.

The Best Monday EVER.

Normally Mondays are uneventful, slow - boring, even, Not today, my friends!

Today I arrived at my desk to find the following: ninja body parts strewn across my computer speaker with a QR code. I scanned the code with my iPhone and was led to the following slideshow:

Lego vs. Ninja

Well, we couldn't just let that slide, could we? So we retaliated with this:

Ninja Vengeance

I must say, the people I work with are some of the most creative people. I just love working with them. How awesome are we?!?

And now we are in peace talks for the exchange of prisoners of war. Great Monday.

This week at work

Some really awesome things have happened at work this week - none of them work related. Mostly I just work with the best people in the world.

Monday was Monday.

But Tuesday was the statewide earthquake drill! Greg made up an audio track with rumbling and screaming and then had me and Seth play it loud over our computer speakers when the drill started. I was running to get under the big sturdy table in our little common area as Devon (also known as my non-romantic life partner because we have a zillion things in common) yelled my name and "I'll never let you go!"a la Titanic. Four of us huddled under that table. Michelle F. grabbed the Treat Tuesday donuts box and clutched it to her chest as if she were shielding a small child. It was hilarious. I felt like I was in elementary school again.

Then on Thursday three awesome things happened. Davy, my next-cubicle neighbor. has been throwing bits of packing foam over the wall at me and other such things, but sometime during the morning I found something rather disturbing - Davy's lego Darth Vader had lightsabered my ninja army! But of course my ninjas were just faking it (hello, they're ninjas). They tied up Darth, attached him to a string along with a note that read "We're keeping the lightsaber," and lowered him pulley-style over the cubicle wall. While the ninjas guarded the lightsaber, Davy prepared a peace offering. I soon received a note that read "Offering made. Pull wisely." I pulled the string back over the wall to find it quite cleverly attached to a measuring cup filled with Cadbury mini eggs. Offering accepted! So I placed the lightsaber in the cup and returned it to Davy.

Also, the Production department has had an ongoing battle with Marketing trying to determine who's the coolest. It started earlier in the week with a drawing on the Marketing whiteboard: Production > Marketing, which Marketing determined meant that Production was fatter than Marketing, which then turned into a drawing of a see-saw with Production being to heavy to play. By the end of Thursday, Marketing had dinosaur allies that could breathe fire and Production had a giant Marketeer-eating robot and laser beams - it just goes on and on. I love it.

To top Thursday off, we went to lunch at Zupas, and on the way back somehow started singing "Let's Go Fly a Kite" from Mary Poppins, only we sang it like a rousing drinking song, slurred words and all. Try it sometime - it makes the song that much better.

Man I love the people I work with.

Pottermore!

It's finally open! After months and months of delays and disappointments, Pottermore is finally open to the public! Yippee!

If you don't know what Pottermore is, you should - well, if you like Harry Potter you should. Pottermore is an online interactive reading experience for all of the Potter books. You look at and read background info for different scenes and chapters from the books. J.K. Rowling has written a bunch of new material for the site - character backstories, location histories, more in-depth object descriptions, and more. Basically it's a website to remedy the withdrawals all of us HP fans have been having since the last movie came out.

But the coolest part is that you get to be officially sorted into a Hogwarts house, which you then proceed to earn points for with other online participants. The house is decided based on your answers to various questions. It's like every other Facebook, MySpace, or general other social network quiz you took to find out which house you're in except for one thing - THIS ONE IS REAL. It's official. And you can't totally predict the outcome.

I've waited my whole life to be officially sorted. I've known deep down, since I began reading the Potter books, that I belonged in Gryffindor. How do I know? Because I pretty much AM Hermione. From the extreme obsession with school work and knowledge down to the rather large front teeth and male best friends, I am her. I know lots of girls feel this way. I have a friend who claimed she was Hermione, but hated school - how does that work? I really am her, with perhaps a bit of Tonks mixed in. A true Gryffindor. Nevertheless, I was concerned as I approached the sorting - it felt like I was actually a Hogwarts first year, praying to not be put in Hufflepuff (not that Hufflepuff is bad, per say, but I simply belong somewhere else). I could've been put in Ravenclaw, just like Hermione. But I wanted Gryffindor - and I got it! Woo! I'm official! Though I didn't really need a website to tell me so.

I haven't spent much time on the site - only enough to be sorted. But I am intrigued by the new material sprinkled throughout the site, and I am eager to learn more. I hadn't realized how much I really miss the boy wizard.

The Big Decision

Okay. I've made a decision. Drum roll, please......................

BOSTON UNIVERSITY!

It feels really weird to finally be saying where I'm going. I don't feel like its real. I haven't really told anyone yet either. And I don't really want to.

I think it's because I'm scared. I think I'm more scared than I've ever been. I'm trying to remember if I felt this way before going to London. I remember being nervous and trying to be brave, but this feels like its bigger. Because it is. I'm moving across the country to a city I've never even visited where no one knows my name.

In some ways that's liberating. I can re-create myself. I can be whoever and whatever I want to be. Of course, I won't change who I am really, but I can be more of what I'm trying to be - outgoing, selfless, caring, poised, alluring, etc. Super Jenny.

But mostly it frightens me. I'm trying not to be scared, especially since I feel my decision was directed by the Spirit. I fasted and prayed and studied and pondered. On Fast Sunday this last month I sat in Relief Society, praying to know where I should go to school. As I prayed, I felt a distinct thought come to my mind - Boston. It repeated throughout the hour. I thought to myself, well I guess I'll go to Boston if you want me to...but I really want to go to London. All of a sudden I felt a strong desire to go to London - it had never been stronger. But I knew that I was probably supposed to go to Boston. I think that's what made my desire for London so strong. I knew then that I wouldn't have it. Not now. And that was hard, giving up one dream for a better opportunity - another, newer dream. I was still kind of wishy washy about it when I heard that I got the assistantship at Boston, though that made me less washy. Then it was General Conference, and I went in with one question: should I go to Boston? And I came out with the same answer. Yes.

I shouldn't have questioned it. When I received my answer about not going to New York last summer to teach at the technology camp, I acted without delay. But this whole Boston thing seemed much bigger and expensive and I just felt confused about all of it.

I have begun telling people that I'm going to Boston. The words feel funny coming out of my mouth, like they're not mine. And maybe they're not. But I have to have faith that they're the words of someone who knows what is best for me.

People ask if I'm excited and really I'm too scared to be excited. It's been hard coming to this decision and I think it's been so stressful that I haven't let myself feel excited about it. But I'm beginning to get there. Thinking of things like spending Thanksgiving weekend with my brother Mike in New York and seeing broadway plays and making new friends and yes, potentially meeting the brilliant man of my dreams all come to mind and make me more excited. Bit by bit it's becoming more of a reality. The trick is figuring out how to tell everyone at work. I mean, there still is a chance I won't go - September is a long ways away. But I need to tell my coworkers and my boss what my possible future looks like. I think telling them will make me feel better about it too because I've been tortured by the idea that I'm somehow lying to them. I love them all and I love my job - its the best job I've ever had. But I need to go to Boston. The more I think about it the more I know it's something I'm supposed to do.

But I'll be acting on faith the entire way, praying that I can do the right things wherever I am. Sheesh, life decisions bite.