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Saturday, September 29, 2012

My Recurring Nightmare

For the past year or so I have been having this semi-nightmare. It's never the same exact dream - I will be in new places with different people each time - but the same thing always happens. My knee cap slides out of place and I can never get it back in just right. I doesn't necessarily hurt. It's more uncomfortable and frightening than anything.

Last night (or rather, this morning) I had another knee cap dream. This time, my knee cap actually CAME OUT! I was holding it. I accidentally dropped it in dirt at one point. I just brushed it of and went back to trying to get it into my knee again. It was one of those dreams where I knew it was a dream, so I decided the easiest way to get my knee cap back to where it should be was to wake up. Problem solved. But I still feel like my knee cap has been wiggling around too much - it's not a physical feeling, but more psychological. When my knee caps dislocated before my knee surgeries in high school I felt like that - loose and vulnerable, like one day my knee cap would just fall off.

What I really want to know is, why now? Why am I have these nightmares now, when I haven't had a knee cap dislocation for about 10 years? I do not like it. Just thinking about it is gives my the shivers. Yeesh...